Fightmaster MD Audio
A weekly treatise on committing to one’s heart instead of hiding inside a career of acclaim, acceptance, and complacency. In 2022 at 33 years old, I left my career as a doctor, where I could earn $400,000 per year. I owed $200,000 in student loans. I quit because that life was killing me. And it wasn’t medicine’s fault. I have plenty of friends who love medicine, who love taking care of patients. It was my fault; I never wanted to be a doctor. I needed to find out what I wanted. My life was on the line. Since, I’ve started a furniture company. That was a surprising plot twist. And I write. Every Thursday, I pen an essay aimed at sharing what it took (and what it takes) to own a life I love, and share the audio version here. If you’d like to join one of my free courses or check out other things (including books) that I’ve written, head over to my website https://fightmastermd.com/ Join my newsletter (https://fightmastermd.com/newsletter) and get first book for free today.
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Episodes
Wednesday Mar 29, 2023
Wednesday Mar 29, 2023
I do it for those haunted by a daring dream, who believe there’s more to life than making money and building a reputation.
Join my newsletter (https://fightmastermd.com/newsletter) and get my FREE 'Fractured to Whole: 32 Truths I've Come to Know' while building a life love after medicine.
Thursday Mar 23, 2023
Thursday Mar 23, 2023
But to really seize that chance, I've learned you how to earn your wants.
Join my newsletter (https://fightmastermd.com/newsletter) and get my FREE 'Fractured to Whole: 32 Truths I've Come to Know'.
Monday Mar 20, 2023
Monday Mar 20, 2023
One year ago today, I began. It wasn’t this website, but it was something, anything. I had to do something.
Tired of the charade and sick of waiting, life or death hinged on March 20th, 2022’s actions. Dramatic? Certainly. Necessary? Beyond.
Join my newsletter (https://fightmastermd.com/newsletter) and get my FREE 'Fractured to Whole: 32 Truths I've Come to Know'.
Friday Mar 17, 2023
Friday Mar 17, 2023
Life was war these last eight years. Acceptance to medical school, grinding through exams, and graduating from residency were all proxy conflicts; the true battle pitted me against fear. The territory in question was wholeness.
When I resigned from medicine, I figured the war would be over, that fear would surrender and providence would be mine.
How mistaken I was.
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Sunday Mar 12, 2023
Sunday Mar 12, 2023
My life during medical school and residency paralleled Santa Barbara’s 2023 forecast; I expected rain, got used to rain, and if it weren’t for a previous season, I may have accepted an overcast fate.
Join my newsletter (https://fightmastermd.com/newsletter) and get my FREE 'Fractured to Whole: 32 Truths I've Come to Know'.
ABOUT RYAN FIGHTMASTER: I'm a board-certified psychiatrist that left medicine in the fall of 2022 to build a life I love and want. I write, surf, and refurbish furniture because... it's what I enjoy. I share my journey at FightmasterMD.com.
I graduated medical school at the University of Oklahoma and psychiatry residency at the University of California, Irvine. I previously worked for HealthCorps, where I built a health program for high school students and appeared on the Dr. Oz show.
CONTACT: You can get in touch with me via Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/fight_the_md/
Wednesday Mar 08, 2023
Wednesday Mar 08, 2023
Can’t say I gamble much though, I prescribe to the don’t gamble anything you can’t afford to lose mantra. I’ve dabbled at tables and slots, but I’m too left-brained to ignore the odds. I love sports too much to bet on it, seems a sac religious act. Still, gambling is a story I get—stakes and pots, calls and folds, all-in’s and gone busts—because once upon a time, I refused to go all-in and still went bust.
Saturday Mar 04, 2023
Saturday Mar 04, 2023
“That Ryan Fightmaster, he’s such a nice kid.”
“That Dr. Fightmaster, he’s just so nice.”
I built my life upon these comments. I sung a tune targeting those praises. Being the nice guy was my compass, goalpost, and doctrine, until it almost cost me... me.
Thursday Mar 02, 2023
Thursday Mar 02, 2023
I made it 28 years before my first depression. It was a good run.
Darkness descended spring semester of my third year of medical school, the hardest year by my count.
Timing-wise, it was paradoxical. I had just aced our first board exam (Step 1)—scoring in the 90th percentile—meaning I had a chance at landing a residency coast to coast. My grades were beaming, recording more honors designations than not. During the fall, I’d even appeared on the Dr. Oz show discussing teen mental health based on my work in HealthCorps. I was “on my way”.
None of that held sway internally, where a divergent narrative took shape: I was losing who I was.
Thursday Mar 02, 2023
Thursday Mar 02, 2023
The current of my life outside the ocean was a different force.
I used to yawn all… the… time. I needed a perpetual nap. I hated getting up early. One missed night of sleep threw my existence into disorder. The current was strong.
For most of med school and residency, my life was tinted with a begrudging tone. Just to be okay every day, to fight that current of medicine and get back to my spot, it required relentless battling. At first surmountable, I could refill the tank on the mountain bike trail or a weekend of camping, but as the stake got higher and higher, I couldn’t paddle anymore and got pushed where it cared take me. If you’re looking for a recipe for depression or a mid-life crisis, look no further.
Thursday Mar 02, 2023
Thursday Mar 02, 2023
This one’s more of a journal entry—not a knowing but a figuring—because the truth is this: I don’t know what’s next.